Living with ADHD: Practical Advice for Families
11 min read
ADHD, or attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, can feel like living on a rollercoaster. This neurodevelopmental condition affects focus, attention, behavior and emotional regulation. While it’s often diagnosed in childhood, some people carry their symptoms into adulthood. Kids may fidget, daydream their way through school or have difficulty regulating their emotions, whereas adults might struggle with time management or organization. Many adults seek a diagnosis after realizing they have the same struggles as their newly diagnosed child.
Want a deeper look into ADHD? Read our full guide on what it is here.
With understanding, structure, and the right set of tools, living with ADHD doesn’t have to feel overwhelming. Whether you’re parenting a child with ADHD or navigating it yourself, our occupational therapists are sharing tips, clearing up common myths, and highlighting the sensory supports that can make ADHD more manageable.
Common Misconceptions About ADHD
Even with the prevalence of ADHD diagnoses, reaching around 10-15% in children and 3-5% in adults, myths about the disorder still abound. We’ll go through and dispel some of the most common ones out there:
“ADHD isn’t real.”
Many people believe the term to be an excuse for unfocused or impulsive behavior, rather than the medical disorder (and, oftentimes, disability) that it is. There is no lab test to diagnose ADHD, but there are well-researched, scientifically backed methods of assessment and evaluation.
“If a child can focus on video games, then they don’t have ADHD.”
This is known as “hyperfixation,” or a child’s ability to focus intently on an activity they love but struggle to maintain attention on something else. Such intense focus can actually derail their day and prevent them from participating in other things with peers.
“ADHD is just bad behavior caused by bad parenting.”
Kids with ADHD are not a product of poor or undisciplined parenting. Their brains are hardwired differently; while a parent’s support plays an important role in how children with ADHD manage daily life, they should not be blamed for the neurological disorder.
“Stimulants make ADHD symptoms worse.”
ADHD is characterized by a lack of dopamine. When used as prescribed, stimulant medications don’t just ‘speed things up,’ they can help focus the brain’s attention and decrease seemingly hyperactive behaviors by acting as a dopamine replacement . However, medication is only one part of ADHD management, and needs to be paired with behavioral training to manage the symptoms.
Our Sensory Coach, Rivkie Berger, says, “In order to truly help kids with ADHD, we have to understand and channel their unique abilities. When we view hyperactivity as ‘high energy,’ and recognize the creativity kids with ADHD bring to the table with their out-of-the-box thinking, we can begin to view ADHD as a superpower instead of a disability.”
Understanding the Day-to-Day Experience
When trying to understand what life is like for someone with ADHD, it’s critical to remember that their brain works differently. It is hardwired to seek stimulation and novel, sometimes risky, activities that may come at the expense of friendships, schoolwork or routines. You may notice one, some or all of the following about your child with ADHD:
None of these behaviors is a sign of laziness or defiance of you, as a parent. Your child is likely trying their best, even if it does not always look like it, and wishes you knew! They are not trying to get into trouble. In fact, they probably hope you’re noticing the things that they are doing well.
Truly understanding the ADHD experience means recognizing the underlying reason why the behavior is happening and offering your child strategies to use.
Managing Life with ADHD: Routines and Real Talk
When kids struggle with schedules, routines and transitions, daily life can feel chaotic. You can help it run smoother with smart strategies in place. Below are some of our occupational therapists’ recommendations for tricky parts of the day:
Best Morning Routine for ADHD
Try the following to help the mornings in your home go without a hitch:
Ensure that your child is starting their day on a positive note by celebrating the small wins, too! This will help boost their self-confidence as they go about the rest of their day.
How To Clean a Room With ADHD
Keeping a room clean can be a challenge for anyone, particularly those with ADHD. The clutter can be both overwhelming and distracting, and it’s hard to know where to begin. Here are some ways that you can make it easier to clean a room:
What Not To Do With a Child With ADHD
It’s important to remember that children with ADHD have different needs and cannot be compared to other kids. Their behavior (or misbehavior, as the case may be) is not a reflection of you, so don’t take it personally. Your child is trying their best.
Avoid yelling at them or overloading them with instructions. You can’t expect your child to remember the full sequence of steps in a task. Kids with ADHD perform better with smaller steps and built-in breaks. Offer them clear, positive feedback for their efforts, not just results.
Top Sensory Tools To Help With ADHD
Sensory tools are powerful supports that help regulate energy, focus attention and soothe emotions. Whether you’re the parent of a child with ADHD or struggling with ADHD yourself, our OT favorites may help:
Weighted Lap Pads
These are the perfect size to provide calming pressure input on your lap or shoulders, and small enough to tote around. Use it while working, at meals or in the car.
Fidgets
Easily satisfy the need to move without getting up and leaving your spot. You can keep a variety of fidget tools available for different scenarios.
Noise Reduction Headphones
Reduce distracting background noise in loud environments to help you stay on track.
Just as with children, adults with ADHD need to understand that their brains need structure, support and sensory equilibrium. Motivate children and adults with ADHD by keeping tasks short and rewarding, and focusing on progress instead of perfection.
Recommended ADHD Toys & Products
Here are some of our most-loved tools to support focus, regulation and daily routines.
1. Busy Fingers™ Fidget Lap Pad
Boost focus and sensory regulation with grounding deep pressure input. The attached fidgets are perfectly positioned for kids to stretch, pull, twist and push while they’re working.
2. Time Timer MOD With Dry Erase Board
Visual timers make it easy for kids to see the amount of time they have left. Write out the steps of a task or a schedule on the dry erase board with the estimated amount of time needed, then set the timer for each part to keep kids on track.
3. Stay-Put Wiggle Cushion
Kids can wiggle in their seats without the cushion sliding off! The active movement is a discreet way to get sensory stimulation. Turn it to the smooth side for less input, or the bumpy side for additional tactile input.
Dr. Ross Greene says "Kids do well if they can." Given the right tools, kids of all abilities can reach their potential and thrive. ADHD is a journey, and you’re not alone. Symptoms can manifest in many ways, in kids and adults. With the right tools and supports in place, families can turn chaos into calm. Learn more about the condition to further your understanding, in order to provide your child with the best support for their needs.
Explore our sensory tools to support ADHD and create a support system that works.
FAQ
1. What are signs of ADHD in children?
ADHD can look different in everyone, although there are common signs. Difficulty focusing and following directions, constant movement, extreme emotional ups and downs, and impulsive behaviors are all frequent symptoms of ADHD.
2. What helps people with ADHD focus?
It can be a challenge for people with ADHD to concentrate. Help them focus their attention with structured routines and clear, simple directions. Encourage movement breaks to let out extra energy and refocus attention.
3. How do I talk to my child with ADHD about their diagnosis?
Children may feel overwhelmed or ashamed by their diagnosis. Try introducing it to them with a social story about neurodivergency, emphasizing that their brains work differently but are no less because of it. Discuss what makes them unique and the amazing abilities their unique mind gives them.
4. What age does ADHD peak?
Although symptoms of ADHD can present as early as 3 years old, diagnosis isn’t usually until later in childhood. Many kids receive a diagnosis by age 12; however, there are people whose symptoms persisted into adulthood before they got a diagnosis.
5. Are you born with ADHD?
Yes. ADHD is generally considered a neurodevelopmental disorder that is present from birth, even though symptoms typically manifest later. If one or both of the parents have ADHD, then there is also a greater chance that it will be passed on genetically to the children.
6. What is the best parenting style for ADHD?
There is no one size fits all approach for parenting a child with ADHD. The most important thing is to be understanding and supportive of your child’s needs. Work with their doctor, therapists, teachers and any other caregivers to ensure the most consistent care is provided to help your child thrive.
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